


Heaven is a place on Earth

by bettacrow



Category: Ratched (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1980s, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Period-Typical Homophobia, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, gay bars
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:22:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29702601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bettacrow/pseuds/bettacrow
Summary: It’s 1988, and in the midst of the AIDS epidemic Mildred is stuck in the cycle of helping those affected and living with her own past.Until she meets someone unexpected in an unexpected place. And begins to learn there is more to life.
Relationships: Gwendolyn Briggs/Mildred Ratched
Comments: 5
Kudos: 37





	Heaven is a place on Earth

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> So I’m new to this, I’ve been in the Ratched fandom for a while and when this idea came into my head I figured I may as well write about it.
> 
> I apologise in advance if there are any errors and such, I was worried when writing this that I wouldn’t be able to make the characters feel the same as they did in the show but I hope I did ok. 
> 
> If you do read this, I appreciate you immensely :D 
> 
> Enjoy!

Mildred had no idea why she was here.

Or really, where she was, for the matter. Somewhere in London; but not anywhere near home. 

Well, wherever she was, it was popular. People were everywhere; mainly the youth running rampant. Cheering and yelling random words and occasionally the odd swear word, either she was old or just didn’t understand the younger generation but it seemed, unseemly, to be spewing vulgarities at every other word. She didn’t think much of it though, part of her did wish she could have some of the same ounce of freedom as them. Maybe, if things were different she would probably be joining in with them. 

But no rest for healthcare nurses at the moment. 

As she wandered through the streets that were seeming to become busier as the night progressed, she left her mind wander somewhat. Today had been a day like most other days; a regular Monday most would think but lately, her shifts had been sifting into the same routine. It made her think of monochrome photographs; the same bland colours capturing the blank and expressionless faces of those staring at the camera. A sense of longing reflecting off of their faces. Much like herself, though she had no idea as to what she was longing for. Change mostly, some kind of escape she wanted.

The work of nurses was exceptionally stressful at the moment. While to most the summer of 1988 was ticking along like clockwork, for some it was like some form of a bad dream. Men, mostly young men, were getting ill, and they had a myriad of illnesses: some had cancer, others pneumonia, for others, it was cases of epilepsy. All these cases were difficult to deal with. Often for Mildred, the same routine followed, explaining to young men the state of their infections and that there was no cure, watching the life drain from their hopeful eyes as it dawned upon them the consequences of their actions. While Mildred was not one of these people, a homosexual; yet she’d heard a variety of descriptions for this group of people, she couldn’t help but feel sorry for them. But she wasn’t one of them, love wasn’t something for her, she did not need it. She only needed herself and that was enough for her, she wouldn’t lie that it was lonely sometimes but she couldn’t dwell on it. Not when she was telling these boys that they were unlikely to make it until Christmas, while their families didn’t want to be involved with them. ‘It’s their own fault’, ‘I won’t be taking a sinner home’, ‘you’re sure they aren’t contagious’ and even ‘I thought I raised him properly’. Sometimes it was easier for her to detach, she had somewhat of a reputation for being cold at times. But if she became attached to these boys, these people, it wouldn’t do good for either of them.

She was cut out of her thought when a group of boys almost barged directly into her. Several of them stopped while a couple dragged each other to move out of her way. She noticed most of them were in bright clothing: tank tops, skinny jeans or the ones that cuffed up at the bottom, some had chains and chokers around their necks which Mildred just found bizarre, many of them had short and spiky, bleached hair; a couple had hair beginning to brush down past their shoulders.  
‘Excuse me’ Mildred said rather sharply to the lively group of passing boys, of one thing she couldn’t stand for was rudeness.  
‘Excuse you, ma’am, we were walking here’’ one of the boys chimed up, taking a few steps closer to her. Mildred tensed but deep down she did know there was no fight here; they were young, energetic, probably slightly randy boys just trying to have fun.  
‘And so was I so therefore if you would keep others in mind and not blindly wander into their space I would appreciate it’ she bit back and stepped around the group of youths, she shook her head at their various sarcastic remarks. She needed to get home if she could figure out where she was. She didn’t know how she got here, she had decided she needed a walk after work to clear her head and seemingly had ended up wandering into a whole other area of this already spectacularly large city. 

She wandered along the pavement that was glistening from rain that had fallen earlier in the day, the overly yellow street lights bounced off the wet pavement making it look like gold. Almost like one of the children’s books, she’d read, or it could’ve been a movie. Where the gold streets would lead her somewhere magical and exciting, however, only in a fairytale would something like that happen to someone like her. Eventually, her eyes came across a bench on the pavement that thankfully hadn’t been hit by the warm summer downpour. Bone dry even. She hurried over to it quickly and sunk down on the hard, metal surface. It was uncomfortable but it was better than almost walking into someone else. Mildred allowed herself a moment to breathe, a moment to gather her thoughts as she took in the area around her. Some buildings around her seemed alive - like it had a heart beat - with the low thrum of music emanating from them and the neon lights glowing through their windows, she was often curious as to what went on inside these buildings. She was about to figure out the way for her to get back home safely when a voice called it to her, low, masculine, but not at all friendly or comforting.

‘Hey, what’s. pretty thing like you doing out here?’ She glanced up to the owner of the voice seeing it belong to a tall, well built, bald man with blue eyes peering for under a brimmed fedora hat that felt like razors cutting nicks at her skin with them. She wished to be as far away from him as possible. She didn’t understand what part of her was deemed ‘pretty’, part of her wished she hadn’t changed out of her nurses uniform before leaving work. Yet, she wasn’t sure how a worn purple jacket, over a just as worn blouse paired, with black linen trousers that flared at the bottoms, with unbranded trainers with a questionable amount of holes, passed as pretty by any standards. She clutched hard at her purse and lifted her head to examine the man approaching her.  
‘Well thank you, sir, but I’m afraid I’m leaving just now’ Mildred abruptly stood up to turn and walk in the opposite direction but this man had other ideas it seemed.  
‘What’s the rush huh? Surely you haven’t got anywhere to be now?’ He walked in front of her, standing perhaps far too many steps in her space. She knew how to fight back, all too well but she’d rather attempt to defuse the situation - she wasn’t afraid to break a mans fragile ego - before using violence in a public space and especially against someone so large, who probably didn’t like hearing the words ‘no’? He took another step towards her, far too close, leaning down to look at her, his rank and warm breath wafting into her face, it was suffocating. ‘A lady like you shouldn’t be alone out here’  
‘Sir if you don’t mind I’d really like to leave’ she pushed at him again, trying to keep the calm and neutral façade for as long as possible, but god, this man just wasn’t having it.  
‘Come on.’ He leaned in closer, his breath tickling her ear, where most women might find this endearing; she was downright repulsed and a little unnerved by this. ‘Come with me’

Before she could do something she may well possibly regret another voice called out, this one lighter, softer, definitely feminine. Not rough like this idiot of a man.  
‘Everything alright over here?’ Mildred turned to come face to face with a woman, well at first she thought an angel was wandering down the street towards her, the glow of the street lights bounced off of perfectly curled, shoulder-length strawberry blonde hair. This woman had broad shoulders and a strong stance but she managed to look so, soft, at the same time. Shaking her head from her wandering mind Mildred forced herself to take in the rest of this enigma of a woman. She too had ocean blue eyes but they simply looked at her, they didn’t take jabs at her. They took her in, rather than take away; Mildred concluded. A strange feeling. The next thing she knew this woman had now taken a stand next to Mildred, peering up at Wainwright with a glance that could cutthroats, her face had changed immediately, what else could this woman do? 

‘Everything is fine lady. Now if you mind’ he made a gesture for her to walk past them, not that she did.  
‘Doesn’t look it to me. Now, maybe it’s supposed to be you who should mind and walk away’ she made the same gesture for him to leave. Glaring at him, Mildred who was somewhat dumbfounded decided to join in and gave him an equally piercing gaze, she could fight back as well, dammit. Wainwright, finally learning that there was no point trying, or feeling he’d regret it if he did, gave an eye roll and trudged past the two of them muttering ‘fucking women’ particularly loudly as he did so. Mildred couldn’t help but chuckle and seemingly this fearless blonde beside her felt just the same.

‘So, who do I have to thank?’ Mildred asked, raising a brow.

‘Gwendolyn’ she replied with a bright smile and her gaze turning back to being soft and friendly, Mildred was somewhat taken aback by this still. ‘Gwendolyn Briggs. And who do I have the honour of helping?’ 

‘Mildred. Mildred Ratched’ she paused ‘Well, Gwendolyn Briggs, I should thank you. Although I could’ve handled things perfectly’ Mildred added, still not thrilled with the idea that someone had to help her.

‘Of that, I have no doubt but sometimes, with men like that if you intimidate them enough they’ll give up and well I couldn’t just walk past and let that happen. Anyway, let me walk you home at least, it’s fine really’ while Gwendolyn spoke, Mildred took the short liberty of finally taking all of this woman in, her hair truly was strawberry blonde – more blonde than red, however – but stunning nonetheless, her skin was more tanned than hers, however, no one was as pale as Mildred Ratched. Her outfit was what intrigued her, a black tank top; that had no straps at a further glance was underneath a leopard printed jacket. Her jeans were tight against toned legs and she donned inched black heels on her feet. She was, elegant but also, not. She had no words to describe her. She returned to reality as Gwendolyn finished her sentence. However, Mildred wasn’t so eager to go home anymore, this stranger made her want to do something different. ‘No I don’t think I’m ready for bedtime just yet’ she started with a joke, ‘I’d just like to get away from here really’

‘Well you’re in luck, I’m headed out myself, care to come with me?’ Gwendolyn offered, half expecting to be turned down. Mildred looked at her, somewhat confused, part of her wanted to say fuck it and go with this woman; she saved her from a man with very non-innocent intentions, she could trust her. Right? But another part of her didn’t know if she should, she’d just met this woman, regardless of the however small pull she felt towards her. After a few moments of thoughtful consideration, Mildred decided that she might as well do this; she could use a break from today’s events. ‘Yes of course’ she finally said, nodding eagerly, why not? It sounded fun.

Gwendolyn grinned practically from ear to ear, she turned to face the world and waved her arm in front of herself to hint for Mildred to walk in this direction she was facing, she waited for Mildred to walk a few steps ahead before she followed after her, crossing her arms over her front, occasionally glancing over at Mildred when she thought she wasn’t looking. She was, different, in a way. Most women she met she could get an understanding of them, personality, ambitions and such. But with Mildred, it was like reading a blank book, or a book that had one word occasionally on the odd page. She figured Mildred was stubborn, hence why she was so insistent that she could’ve dealt with that man; an admirable trait she had to admit. She made light conversation with her as they walked, it was pleasant really, but there was that sense of hesitance from Mildred; she often would only give one word or very blank answers. This light talk lasted until they reached the place in question, a set of heavy black double doors that when opened, led into a short hallway with another set of blue double doors with the sign ‘Heaven’ above it. Gwendolyn pushed at the doors and allowed Mildred to step inside. ‘Here we are’

Her last sentence droned out as Mildred took in the scene, people, a lot of people. Accompanied by pop music playing from speakers placed around the corners of the large room, lights bounced around the buzzing room. Most of the commotion came from the centre of the room, where there were seat and tables dotted around where there was a hard wooden floor where well over fifty people were crowded together. At one end to the right, there was a bar, with very few people sitting at it. The floor around it was carpeted with a strange pattern before it was marked off and became the hard floor; well, a dance floor. In the centre of the mass of thrashing people, she caught sight of at least four or so drag queens, raising drinks and making jokes often. The thing hat hit her the most was seeing men with other men. And women with other women. There was the odd man and a woman together or even more than two people huddled up in a corner kissing. A gay bar shed heard of them, they were spoken as if they were the plague; something to be well and truly avoided. Her feet remained planted to the floor, what should she do? It wasn’t like she was disgusted or afraid, just more confused? Nervous? She didn’t know. Why was she here?

‘Hey, everything ok over there?’ Gwendolyn’s voice cut her out of her observations. A gentle hand touched her arm for a brief second, she’d be damned if she couldn’t feel electricity waver under the touch. ‘You. You brought me here because..?’ She felt like she could trust Gwendolyn, she felt like this woman wouldn’t try anything; she didn’t necessarily believe the stories of lesbians being stalkers or predatory. Hadn’t this woman saver her from one? But he just had had to know, what her true intentions were. Luckily, Gwendolyn would answer that for her. ‘Just hear me out, it was not my intention to hurt you or to assume anything, I simply wondered if you wanted to well have a drink possibly?’ And there it was, even though Mildred had known this woman for all of what? Half an hour at most, she felt like her explanation was true; she could trust her. ‘One drink and I’ll call you a taxi’ Gwendolyn offered and Mildred really couldn’t say no, she’d gotten here so why not? ‘Ok one. Thank you.’ Mildred agreed, nodding once. She followed Gwendolyn through the crowds of people, while she stumbled over toes and tried to keep her head ducked, Gwendolyn followed with the grace of a swan on water through these pockets of space between people. 

They eventually reached the bar where a tall, stocky man with blonde hair and blue eyes slightly darker then Gwendolyn’s turned an smiled at them. If Mildred didn’t know much better, she’d think they were siblings. ‘What’ll it be tonight then Gwenny?’ The man spoke, it was clear the two knew each other. ‘Bourbon. Andrew, please. And you’ll have?’ she added, looking over to Mildred.  
‘Oh um, gin? And tonic? Please?’ Mildred replied, biting at her lip as she surveyed the area, the pop music – which was Queen she was sure – gave the room a heartbeat almost, it went well with those who partied inside it. She turned back to Gwendolyn and Andrew, she remembered, the man had nodded and was preparing their drinks. ‘Is Trevor home tonight?’ he addressed Gwendolyn as he pulled out a glass. ‘He’s working late tonight I’m afraid, you can come back tonight, as long as you both keep it down. One of us takes work seriously’ Andrew faked shock and set their drinks on the bar ‘On the house, but don’t worry you can do my laundry to make it up to me’ Andrew laughed as he wandered off behind the bar. Gwendolyn held her middle finger up behind his back and rolled her eyes ‘You know him?’ Mildred asked as Gwendolyn turned to face her.  
‘He’s my friends' partner, he’s sweet. Except when he asks me to do laundry’ she chuckled, sipping at her drink 

‘So, Mildred I see you’re a nurse. I take it you’ve heard of the HIV virus by now’ Gwendolyn started, hoping this would create some talk in Mildred.  
‘I am and well, it's sad sometimes. These boys who have so much hope and suddenly we have to tell them this may be their final Christmas, or they won’t have one at all. It’s like it appeared out of nowhere. Most don’t try to help them, which makes it worse really. Their lives over because of a thing that could be avoided’ Mildred replied, shifting between sipping her drink and biting at her lip.  
‘I see, most nurses and doctors I’ve met don’t care much for these boys. You’re surprising. Nurse Ratched, but I’m glad someone cares.’ And with that Gwendolyn let out a long sigh, Mildred had to squint but was she crying? Moments seemed to pass between them and Mildred zoned out, listening to a song she was somewhat familiar with – Running Up That Hill; she was sure the radio said – play in the background. She took in her surroundings again: people dancing, singing, some kissing, exchanging jokes and stories with each other. It was charming really, that these people had found some sense of community in each other when the rest of the world deemed them to be deviants. Mildred realised just how truly lonely she was. Still, she wasn’t one of these people; she just understood them somewhat. She couldn’t possibly be one of them. 

‘If I only could, make a deal with God, and get him to swap our places. Be running up that road, be running up that hill.’

Mildred meandering minds was once again interrupted by Gwendolyn’s voice.  
‘So, Mildred’ she started ‘ask me something’ she pressed, taking a long swig from her glass. ‘Like anything?’ Mildred asked, somewhat dumbfounded by this request. ‘Yes, anything. Whatever pops into your head’ Gwendolyn tilted her head up expectantly; tapping a perfectly painted finger against the bar, humming along to Kate Bush as the song was beginning to draw to a close.  
After careful consideration, Mildred asked the first thing that old pop into her head ‘What do you do for work?’ Mildred had assumptions but she was mostly just curious; she found it odd how much she felt drawn to this woman, almost frightening, in a way.  
Gwendolyn almost sensed why she’d asked such a question and let out a soft chuckle, draining the rest of her drink and sliding it across the bar before turning back to face Mildred, she clapped her hands together and leaned in close; like she were a teenage girl about to share a secret with a friend ‘I work for the mayor if you can believe’ she said quietly to her, her breath felt warm against Mildreds skin, or was that just the temperature? Focus Mildred. She went to take another sip of her drink only to find that she’d drained the glass as well. Damn. To be honest she couldn’t stop herself from laughing at this revelation; she didn’t expect to hear that for an answer but when she thought about it, it made sense. She was sensible, sounded intelligent, had an air of authority to her. Even if her appearance made it seem otherwise. 

The next thing she knew Gwendolyn was flagging down Andrew again with an eager wave of her hand ‘The same again please’ she asked, placing a paper note down on the bar. Mildred was about to protest when Gwendolyn held her hand up to stop her in her tracks ’Now now, tonight’s an adventure. And I’d say you’ve deserved it.’ She raised a brow, grinning widely and holding Mildreds drink out her; Mildred had to admit tonight was unexpectedly amazing.

Several drinks later and Mildred was positive she was hovering over on the edge of being tipsy and somewhat drunk, she wasn’t exactly too sure as to which one she was at that moment. Gwendolyn seemed to be just the same but instead of being in solemn silence like Mildred she was grinning and laughing at practically everything, occasionally she started a conversation with someone she knew which left her bursting into hysterics. She only stopped when the current song playing ended and she caught the first couple words of the one that had begun playing. 

‘Oh baby do you know what that’s worth, oh heaven is a place on earth.’ 

Gwendolyn's eyes lit up, similar to a deer that had been caught in headlights. Immediately gulping her drink down she shot up like a bullet shot out from a gun, she wasted no time to take Mildred's hand in hers and pull her up out of her seat too. ‘It’s the final song before the bar closes. Dance with me?’  
Mildred stood confused, looking at Gwendolyn's hopeful face and the dance floor where it seemed everyone’s energy was suddenly reinvigorated. She wasn’t sure. Should she? Shouldn’t she? After several more seconds of thinking and contemplating all scenarios for this night. It didn’t take long before she was squeezing Gwendolyn's hand and following her to the floor. 

She was nervous at first, swaying slowly in time to the music compared to Gwendolyn who was practically a live wire. Compared to pure electricity bouncing off the wall of the club endlessly she wasn’t much different, it was amusing to see really. She glanced around seeing others around them practically doing the same thing without much thought in the world of what they were doing. She livened up eventually matching Gwendolyn in the lively twisting and bouncing on her feet in a crazily choreographed but moving dance all at the same time. 

She didn’t miss how Gwendolyn watched her, how their bodies slowly got closer as the song played on, it was a strange feeling. She wasn’t bothered by the closeness, probably just the alcohol. But at the same time, it wasn’t disturbing or frightening like when that man in the street invaded her space, she knew she could trust Gwendolyn, as much as she could for someone she just met so she didn’t think much when their fronts were almost pushing up to each other. The rhythm of the song was beginning o slow and the occasional person practically chanted ‘heaven’ along with Belinda Carlisle’s voice. 

‘In this world, we’re just beginning to understand the miracle of living’

Maybe it was the light, but was Gwendolyn smiling at her?

‘Baby, I was afraid before, ‘

Was she leaning close to her?

‘But I’m not afraid, anymore.’

The beat dropped, the rhythm slower but still energetic but Gwendolyn was practically pressed close to her, glancing around everyone was doing the same thing. The glint her eyes was capturing, she felt like she was frozen to the spot, her face leant in closer. What was she doing?

Before she could reprimand herself the lyrics started again and everyone, including Gwendolyn, moved away from their small bubbles and started dancing wildly again like they were not thirty seconds ago. Mildred joined back in, the events of the past few moments wavering into the back of her mind. Whatever just happened was. Different. 

Eventually, the song faded away and most people were beginning to file put few by few out of the door and out into the night back home. Mildred couldn’t shake off the feeling that magic, or electricity really, was cackling fiercely in the air still. She glanced back to Gwendolyn who was beaming like a woman gone mad and wiping beads of sweat away from her forehead, her baby blue eyes still gazing at Mildred with some form of gentleness she didn’t understand; part of her wanting to.  
‘Come on, I’ll call you a taxi’ she said patting Mildreds shoulder once and walking out with her into the cool night, though Mildred couldn’t stop the heat prickling into her cheeks.

Gwendolyn waited with her, watching as people wandered down the streets, yelling and laughing and seeming genuinely, happy. A prospect Mildred wasn’t at all familiar with but after tonight she felt like maybe she had, a once in a lifetime thing. 

Once again her thoughts were stopped when a black taxi pulled up, the driver shouting ‘Miss Ratched?’ peering around for the sight of whomever they were picking up. ‘That would be my cue.’ Mildred wiped her hands down the front of her trousers, leaving to walk away before turning once to look back to Gwendolyn ‘Thank you again for tonight. I think I’d be in trouble if you hadn’t shown up’ Gwendolyn merely chuckled in reply, watching Mildred open the taxi door she bit back a question on her tongue. Before she knew it would be too late she figured that there was no time like the present. It wouldn’t kill her for asking, for wanting to spend time with this woman. Would it? ‘Hey, maybe we could meet up again sometime?’ She was expecting to hear no, or nothing. She knew how nights like this often went. But life can be surprising.

‘This weekend?’ Was the last thing she heard as the taxi drove off down the road, leaving Gwendolyn cooling down in the night air and blissfully alone with her thought for a few moments.

Maybe heaven was a place on earth. No pun intended.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey yall, 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this and I hope I still made everything feel the same. 
> 
> If you have anything to say, whether it be comments or just general feedback, please let me know below, it would mean a lot to me. I’m hoping to continue this and make a full fic from it :D 
> 
> If you would like to ask me anything, or even requests possibly, feel free to send me something on tumblr, I’m @bettacrow 
> 
> I hope everyone has a good day <3


End file.
